Should we act surprised that old people get sick and die? We know its coming. Why waste the emotions. They've been bracing their whole lives, now they can finally say they know the end is near. Why is that such a scary or bad thing to accept? Sure you're leaving the world that you have known forever, but such an adventure should seem brilliant after you've lived on this pile of crap for say 80 years or so. Everyone's pretending they don't want to say goodbye, when we neurotically set ourselves up to do so. They'd rather sit around and bitch than find somewhere new to go. Just complaining, but when passed the option to leave they freak out. We're growing... we're growing...we're growing...

It's intangible. We're splicing air molecules with our minds, holding hands and crossing streets. Gray hairs don't scare me.

My grandma taught me a few things that i was lucky enough to see through. One was to never answer the phone if you don't know the number on the call display, one is to immediately freeze your bagels so they don't go bad, one was to throw out cardboard boxes (apparently they attract bugs), one is to never use your real name in a email... why is she so scared of everything? Are those the results of living for so long? Fear of moldy bagels, fear of unidentified callers, fear of bug inducing boxes...fear of living.

Can one even function with so many limitations? No. So I'd rather destroy them all...I listen to music that lives without rules and isn't afraid of anything.

The saddest thing is by the time old people die the world has turned them into something no body even really cares about if they live or die. Am I a bad person for saying that out loud? I don't know, i don't mean to sound like a prick, I know it's coming out like that. I'm just confused.

But after all these thoughts are sprawled on paper, its interesting to know they don't really mean much to anyone. And maybe they shouldn't. But some things should and it's these people, and although they may not have a lot of relevance to our teenage lives, they are still people and embracing their sincerity is a refreshing experience.

I tried to write a poem but all you get are these messy emotions ranting on paper. And I'm treading endless water, these ideas aren't getting anywhere...they never will and may never end because we're never done until we die.

So maybe they're just waiting to figure everything out before they die.