 Interview and intro by: Matthew Parrish / Photograph by: Matthew Parrish TMDP: "The Vomity Pants"Many a night I have stumbled home drunk and I often hit up some sort of food. The last time I did this I was with a friend and the next day we started questioning what exactly we ate at 7/11. He looked down and noticed some food on his jeans - I looked down and saw some vomit on my shoe. --
Jeffrey W. Addison: In the fall of 2008 we went on a mini road trip to Kingston, Ottawa and Montreal.
Truth.Explosion.Magazine: Oh yeah? For how long?
JWA: The weekend. It was great, but one moment will forever remain significant.
TEM: I always worry when someone says that – did something crazy happen?
JWA: More memorable than crazy, I’d say.
TEM: Oh! Well that’s good then.
JWA: The morning after our first night in Kingston, a friend took us to a pub called The Toucan that he used to frequent when he was going to school there.
TEM: Trying to work off a hangover maybe?
JWA: We were all pretty sore from the night before, it was imperative that we got some food in our bellies before we hit the road again.
TEM: Oh of course!
JWA: After we ordered and we’re waiting for our food to come, I noticed that I had some dried vomit on my pants.
TEM: Oh shit dude! That’s pretty gross – yet common! Haha. Did you remember how it happened?
JWA: I asked, "how the hell did that get there?"
TEM: Did anyone know?
JWA: Everyone was clueless. Craig seemed to have an idea but was huddled in the fetal position, unable to speak due to a crippling hangover.
TEM: Oh no! Poor Craig!
JWA: Thinking back, I think it was from this old wine I drank and vomited all over the washroom. It looked like blood...
TEM: The scary kind of vomit! So what did you do?
JWA: Once our food arrived I quickly swiped the pint of water from Craig who was unable to even consume H20 at that point, and proceeded to dab water on the vomity pants.
TEM: Wouldn’t that sort of like reactivate the vomit? Bring out the smell?
JWA: I was more concerned with how it looked than smelled. At that point in the trip I was keeping a good five feet buffer zone between myself and people anyhow.
TEM: Haha! So did you get it all cleaned up?
JWA: No, not at all. There were families in the pub... I was getting strange looks.
TEM: So funny. Were you able to eat after?
JWA: Easily. Vomiting is a daily thing for me. Too much coffee makes me yak, anything really.
TEM: Well at least you could eat again I guess. So what did you get?
JWA: The most beautiful looking chicken club sandwich I'd ever laid eyes on in my quarter century of life.
TEM: Mmmmm! Why so beautiful?
JWA: Stacked between two pieces on Ciabatta Bread was a mountain of chicken, tomato, lettuce, and bacon. But something was missing…
TEM: Missing?! So what did you do?
JWA: I slapped on my side of onion rings and compressed the sandwiched into a puck sized piece of awesome.
TEM: Oh Man you are making me so hungry!
JWA: Yeah, I know how to roll when it comes to sandwiches. Back home I always get my local pub to make my favourite sand which.
TEM: Which is?
JWA: Chicken fingers dipped in hot sauce on a toasted bun with blue cheese, onions, and tomatoes with a top of sweet potato fries. My band mate and I also make toasted fried egg, tuna, and hot sauce sandwiches...they're delicious.
TEM: Such unique combos! I want one!
JWA: Anyway with one bite, a single tear trickled down my cheek. I’m dead serious.
TEM: Woah! What? A tear?
JWA: The sandwich was so delicious - I actually began to cry. I had never tasted something so perfect.
TEM: That rules!
JWA: I had sunglasses on, so I can only imagine everyone watching the tears roll out from under them. Honestly man, you can travel the world or win the lottery, but no one every really lives until a sand which makes them cry.
TEM: I believe you! I have one final question for you – what is the “truth” about Jeffrey W. Addison?
JWA: Sleep, food, music, love. That's as deep as it goes. I try not to over analyze or intellectualize my life. Fly like an eagle to the sea, man!
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