 Interview and intro by: Tom Beedham / Photograph by: Matthew Parrish The Mighty Regis: "Studying To Be A Priest"I’ve done my ritzy club time. It was an abruptly brief chapter of my university nightlife, but bronzer and Gucci don’t mix well with me. I’m talking excess calculated to the point of moderation. That sentence shouldn’t make sense, but when you take the posh dress codes, the custom-over-quality traditions that follow bottle service, and the cover charges that separate the street public from the bourgeois alcoholics, it does. One drink over the line will earn you unwanted notice, and if you stay stone cold sober you develop a dependency for painkillers. It’s dangerous stuff. --
Truth.Explosion.Magazine: What’s your story about?
Franky McNorman: I moved out to LA not too long ago and I had a bunch of buddies of mine come from the East Coast and we went to a bar.
TEM: Right on. What kind of bar?
FM: (Laughing) This was just some Hollywood club that closed within, like, a month.
TEM: What was the place like? Was it really swanky, or what?
FM: It was the type of place that, like, Lindsay Lohan would hang out in, ya know?
TEM: (Laughing) Really? What were you doing there?
FM: I was just trying to be a good tour guide, showing him around Los Angeles. And I don’t like Los Angeles at all…like it’s not my scene.
TEM: So, what is your scene?
FM: I like pubs and bars and stuff. But we put on our nice shirts and we did the town trying to pick up the Hollywood girls.
TEM: Nice! Okay, so you’re in this club…
FM: Okay, now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the actor Scott Caan.
TEM: Can’t say I am.
FM: If you’ve seen the Godfather, the actor James Caan is one of the main guys in those movies and his son is now an actor too and he’s about three foot tall.
TEM: (Laughing) Okay.
FM: But anyway he thinks he’s a bit of a tough guy. And my friend Allen who’s studying to be a priest—he’s got a bit of a drinking problem too—comes out and has a couple beers with us and he points out…he goes, “Oh look it! It’s Sonny Corleone’s kid!”
TEM: Is your friend Allen a big guy?
FM: My friend Allen is 6’7”.
TEM: Woah.
FM: So yeah, he’s sitting down at the time and Scott Caan comes over. He goes, “Hey man, don’t be a dick. Alright? I’m just a person, same as anybody else, alright? So stop starring and fuck off.”
TEM: Shit. What did Allen do?
FM: Allen goes, “Oh why don’t ya go away, uh, before ya get hurt?”
TEM: Oh geeze. One of those nights.
FM: Scott Caan says, “Oh, what did you say?” and stands up by the chair, and Allen stands up—and he’s 6’7”—grabs him by the top of the head, and punches him in the face, knocks him clear out.
TEM: What happened after that?
FM: We all got arrested and he got sent home the next day, but he’s now a priest!
TEM: Does he have problems justifying knocking a guy out like that?
FM: No, I don’t think so. I think he’s lived by the law that if you’re a good person, God be with you, and if you’re a dick you need a beating like everybody else.
TEM: (Laughing) Okay, one more question. What is the "truth" about Franky McNorman?
FM: The truth about me is, I’ve seen the movie Grease 2 sixty times. And that’s a terrible fucking movie.
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